14 February 2021

10K Instagram Followers & Still Unhappy

I should be happy I mean I got my account back with 10k plus followers. Its what I have always wanted but am more stressed out then I was before. My levels of social anxiety have skyrocketed.

Am sure you are wondering what am talking about.

 In 2020 I received an email from Instagram about them updating their terms of use. The Gmail in question was from an account I lost in the year 2017.

nompumelelo

Hacking Instagram accounts was so easy at the time. So many influencer/bloggers lost their accounts back then mine include.

When it happed I tried everything to get it back but I couldn’t. I gave up I was at the peak of my influencer game. I was getting sponsored and being on PR lists. When I lost my account to some hacker in India my influencer career has never been the same.

I could easily say I lost all credibility. 

To most, me getting my account back would be an influencer’s dream come true. For me, it was a good dopamine rush posing and having that guarantee of likes and comments. It was good for a month, lost a lot of followers 600 to be exact. I couldn’t blame the people who unfollowed me I would have done the same thing if I had not seen someone post for over three years.

But un the less it still sucks.

It all made sense as to why I had oped all those accounts I was trying to recreate the account I had lost. I couldn’t get over me not being on top of my game. I lost all self-confidence in my work. I looked at all the pictures I took the comments from well-known influencers now.

What’s troubling me it’s the what if ..what if I had not been hacked where would I been now. Am struggling to put those thoughts to rest.

Right now I have disenabled that account. I need time to think as to how will I introduce my new content to an audience that I hardly know and that doesn’t know me.

I will figure it out ..its an opportunity to re-start …ok am done talking.

How do you deal with social anxiety? comment down below